she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So many bounce houses so little time
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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