Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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