If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
