its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
