He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i think my cat just said my name.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
