You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
