maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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