I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
