Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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