is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
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