I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
