apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
