I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
