If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
