wrigley field is MILF paradise
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
