Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
