I faked an abortion last night.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
