I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
