Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
