it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize