They should really pass out barf bags in church
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Randomize
