She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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