Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
