i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Operation Purity has been aborted
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Someone shattered a urinal.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
