new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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