Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
