She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
