Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
That accounts for only three of the penises
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
