i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
