Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
