speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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