i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
