I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
