grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
