Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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