If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
