we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
