by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
