YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
