It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
