And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
