I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
