The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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