I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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