dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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