Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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