when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
