She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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