if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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