Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
